Imaginary Interviews

(During the Past Week the Daily Press Gave Extensive Publicity to the Following Men and Women. Let Each Explain to You Why His Name Appeared in the Headlines.)

Marshal Ferdinand Foch: " Returning to Paris from Poland and Czecho-Slovakia, I brought with me: a portfolio of honorary diplomas from Polish Universities, a pair of socks knitted by a woman 80 years old, an obelisk of coal from Silesian miners, several rugs woven by Polish peasants, a bottle of wine of the vintage 1652."

The Mayor of Marion, Ohio: " The town has no money, the banks won't lend it any more. The police-men object to not being paid."

Ambassador Harvey: " I arrived in Washington from London to be the two weeks' guest of the President and Mrs. Harding. The White House truck had to make two trips from the station to bring our 20 trunks."

Henry Mayo Bateman, cartoonist for Punch: " Visiting Manhattan, I exclaimed: ' Your girls are dynamic, your humor stimulating, your skyscrapers magnificent, your traffic terrifying, your bathrooms overwhelming and your Broadway electrifying. When I want a trip to Hell, I simply enter the subway. I never dreamed there was a place where a man could put out people's eyes, smash them in the jaw, knock them down, kick them about and throttle them to his heart's content without anybody minding it in the least. It is a spiritual panacea, absolutely.' "

Jules Jusserand, French Ambassador to Washington: "At a dinner of the Authors' Club in my honor, Oscar S. Straus, former U. S. Ambassador to Turkey, told an anecdote about the late President Roosevelt and me. According to him, I called at the White House one day in cutaway coat, high hat and lavender gloves. The President was about to go for a swim and I accompanied him. On the banks of Rock Creek we undressed, but I kept on the lavender gloves. 'Aren't you going to take them off ? ' asked Mr. Roosevelt. ' No, Monsieur le President,' I returned, 'I shall keep them on because we might meet some ladies.' "

William Eugene (" Pussyfoot") Johnson: "In Kansas City, Mo., I declared: 'The liquor situation is getting better. Every country in the world is watching America.' "

Nicholas Murray Butler, President of Columbia University: "I set out for England on a lecture tour of the English universities. I have been elected to the Athenasum Club, one of the most select in Great Britain-- with a membership confined to statesmen, literary men, philosophers, prelates."

Ewald Kretschmar, German hotel magnate: "On returning from America, I told hotel men in Berlin: 'A profusion of cuspidors and unused Bibles in every room were the first impressions I received in American hotels. Both are typically American.' "

Georges Clemenceau: " I superintended the production of my own play, The Veil of Happiness, at its revival in Paris. I reproved an actor who was playing the part of a god: ' Is that the way a god should speak ? When a god grumbles it is like thunder! ' "

Thomas A. Edison: " Testifying in a moving picture trial in Manhattan I declared: ' There is nothing so powerful as motion pictures in influencing people. It is my opinion that in 20 years children will be taught through pictures and not through books.' "

Dr. Henry van Dyke: "Said 1 of Mr. Edison's tribute to the movies: ' If you will pardon me for using such an expression, I'll say it's all poppycock.' "

Charles E. Brickley (who in 1914 kicked five field goals for Harvard against Yale): " I was indicted in Springfield, Mass., for illegal stock negotiations and released on $10,000 bail. Since the dissolution of my stock brokerage concern in 1921, this is the second suit in which I have been involved."

William A. Brady, theatrical producer: "In a speech before the Chicago Woman's Club I said: 'Motion picture censorship in unAmerican. ... As a matter of fact, every reputable producer would send to Sing Sing any person who deliberately put a filthy scene on the screen.' "

Rosa Ponselle, Metropolitan Opera Star from Meriden, Conn.: "I confided privately to friends in San Francisco that I should never marry a singer."

Johnny Kilbane, featherweight boxing champion: "Newspapers put this lyric in my mouth: ' I have no fear,' says John Kilbane, ' Of any Eugene Criqui; ' Why, bless my honest Irish soul, 'I'll make his voice sound squiki.'"

Edward of Wales: " In strict incognito I attended the Alhambra Music Hall at Lille, France. The orchestra struck up God Save the King--but I wasn't noticed. The honor was for the British Consul, also present."

Battling Siki: "I was obliged to postpone my match with the British middleweight Moore because my arm was bitten by a lion I was trying to tame."

Henry Ford: "An interviewer asked me about my presidential ambitions. Said I: ' I wouldn't step as far as from here to that rug to become King of England! ' "

Alvaro Obregon, President of Mexico: " Ban Johnson, President of the American League, presented me with a handsome trophy on which are depicted George Sisler and Ray Schalk in action. It is much admired in Mexico City."

The Gaekwar of Baroda: " I am credited with being one of the twelve richest men in the world: Henry Ford, $550,000,000; John D. Rockefeller, $500,000,000; The Duke of Westminster, $150,000,000; myself, $125,000,000; Sir Basil Zaharoff, $100,000,000; Hugo Stinnes, $100,000,000; Baron H. Mitsui, $100,000,000; Baron K. Iwasaki, $100,000,000; T. B. Walker, perhaps less than $100,000,000.

Georges Carpentier: " I announced that after my return fight with Battling Siki on September 16, I shall retire from the ring--win or lose."

Leon Trotzky: "My brother, M. Bronstein, in Berlin lost a fortune speculating in marks. So I sent him $125,000."

Jack Dempsey: " I set up my training camp for my fight with Gibbons at Great Falls, Mont., on the site of the first brewery established there. Its picturesque ruins are beside my training ring."

Judge Elbert H. Gary: " I set up a monument in memory of Thomas Murray in Jersey City. A facetious editor remarked that I have a habit of erecting tombstones to my friends--many of them at Wheaton, Ill.--and suggested that I erect an-other with the inscription: ' Here lies the twelve-hour day. Nothing in his life became him like the leaving of it.' "

Alvin W. Owsley, National Commander of the American Legion: " Loy J. Molumby, Commander of the Montana Legion, is promoting the Dempsey-Gibbons match. Said I (in a statement to the press): ' Molumby has never received the authorization of the Legion to act as its representative in arranging the match. . . . The Legion has never opposed the manly art of boxing. . . . The Legion holds no enmity for Dempsey, but its members cannot forget that the heavyweight champion of the world remained safe in the shipyards in America while the finest men of our nation were advancing in the face of almost certain death on the battlefields of Europe!' "